


Together Forever

by angelsfalling16



Series: Song Fics [4]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Don't say I didn't warn you, M/M, Pain, SnowBaz, Songfic, i ripped out my own heart with this one, many things happen in this small fic, mostly what happens is me crying on the floor though, so much pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 21:16:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16126895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: This fic is too sad for words to describe.





	Together Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Forever and Always by Parachute. Actually, this fic was built around the lyrics.
> 
> And this is for @magickspills on Tumblr, and she can have it. It's hers now. I don't want it anymore. It caused me so much pain.

Baz sits at the kitchen table and keeps checking the clock. It’s getting late, and Simon should have been home by now. He should have come home hours ago.

He glances out the window, but the driveway remains dark and empty. He’s just gotten off the phone with Penelope and a few other friends, but no one has seen or heard from him. They all asked if something was wrong, but he couldn’t answer them. He didn’t know how because he couldn’t get ahold of Simon.

He didn’t know if there was something wrong or if he should be phoning the police or if Simon would come walking through the door in a moment with that dorky smile and a wild explanation for why he’s late.

Baz at the clock again and back towards the window. The phone rings.

He stands quickly and pulls the phone from where it hangs on the wall. He hopes that it’s Penny, calling to tell him that she knows where Simon is. Or that it’s Simon himself telling him that he’ll be home in a couple of minutes.

Baz answers the phone. “Hello?”

“Is this Mr. Grimm-Pitch?” A strange voice asks.

“Yes. Who is this?”

“Sir, you need to come to the hospital. Something has happened to your fiancé, and you should come right now.”

“What happened? Is he alright?”

There’s silence on the other end. Then, “I can’t give you the details over the phone, but you need to come now.”

The world goes quiet and everything becomes a blur as Baz hurries for his keys and out to his car.

As he drives to the hospital, he thinks back to that cold day in December. One of the happiest days of his life. Simon had taken him out for a nice dinner before they went back to their shared apartment where he baked Baz a dessert. Well, he burnt a dessert, because no matter how hard he tried, he still couldn’t get it quite right. Baz didn’t mind that, though. He was so completely in love with Simon.

When they were finished picking around the burnt parts of the dessert, Simon knelt down on one knee and said, “I want you forever, Baz, forever and always. I want you through the good and the bad and the ugly. I want us to grow old together. Forever and always. Will you marry me?”

***

Baz walks through the entrance of the hospital and up to the front desk. He tells the nurse that he is there to see Simon Snow.

They lead him through a maze of hallways that feels like it will never end. Someone tries to explain to him what happened, but he can’t hear them. There is a pounding in his ears as he prepares himself for whatever is about to happen.

He tries to keep a straight face as he walks into Simon’s hospital room. He doesn’t want Simon to see how much he is hurting.

He barely keeps it together as he moves to sit in the chair next to Simon’s bed. Simon is so pale. Baz isn’t even that pale when he’s lacking blooding. He can’t help but try to cast a few healing spells on Simon without people noticing. But nothing happens. There is nothing for Baz to do. It is too late.

Baz takes Simon’s pale hand in his own hand and interlaces their fingers. He squeezes too tight as he tries to fight back the tears that burn behind his eyes. They just stare at each other for a minute, neither one knowing what to say. They both know what’s going to happen, so there is no point in saying it out loud. It would only make things harder.

“Don’t forget about the kids we’re gonna have,” Simon says in a hoarse voice. And that’s the moment that Baz begins to fall apart.

“Three of them,” Baz chokes out around the tears he failed to hold back. “And they will have two fathers that love them more than ours ever loved us.” He puts on a smile for Simon’s sake, but his heart is shattering as he sits there staring at his fiancé, who was once very much alive, more so than he ever was.

“We’re going to buy that house on the hillside. The kids will have so much room to run and play. You can teach them to play sports, and I’ll teach them how to fight with a sword.  And we’ll raise some goats to keep us company when they all go off to Watford.”

“Goats? Really?” Baz asks. It brings a smile to Simon’s face as they both remember the many arguments they’ve had about this that ended with them in each other’s arms and laughing over how ridiculous the fight was. “Anything for you, love.”

“And we’ll stay there together?” Simon asks.

“We’ll stay there with each other forever,” I assure him.

“Forever and always,” he agrees.

“Through the good and the bad and the ugly.”

“We’ll grow old together.”

“And we’ll always remember,” Baz whispers, his body shaking with sobs. “Whether rich or for poor.”

“Or for better,” Simon finishes when it becomes too much for Baz. “We’ll still love each other, forever and always.”

Baz gets an idea then. He squeezes Simon’s hand and calls in the nurses. He whispers his plan to them as Simon stares on in silence. The nurses hurry around the hospital and quickly find someone who can marry Baz and Simon.

The couple next door comes in when they hear what is happening, and they let Simon and Baz borrow their wedding rings. They all laugh as tears fall from each of their eyes and fall onto the floor.

Baz stands beside Simon and looks into his eyes as he says, “I want you forever and always.” He squeezes Simon’s hand. “Through the good and the bad and the ugly.” He moves his hand to rest lightly on the side of Simon’s face. “We’ll grow old together and always remember.” He uses his thumb to catch a falling tear. “Whether happy or sad or whatever, we’ll still love each other. Forever and always.”

He kisses Simon long and slow. When he pulls away, they both whisper, “forever and always.”

The finish their vows and exchange rings, but the beeps are getting slower. Beep.. beep…. beep…. Too slow.

Simon tries to speak, but his voice is almost too low. “I’ll love you forever and always, Baz.” He places his hand over Baz’ on the bed. “Please just remember.” Beep……beep. “Even if I’m not there.” Simon coughs weakly and struggles to breathe. Beep……….beep. “I’ll always love you, forever and always.” Beep……..beep…………beep………………..

There are no more beeps, and Simon’s hand falls limp. Baz’ body falls to the floor as he is overcome with grief. He can’t breathe, and he’s clawing at his skin and pulling at his hair. He can’t. He can’t breathe.

He can’t do this without Simon. He needs him. Simon has been there for so long. He’s always been there, and he was supposed to be there forever. So, why?

Why did this happen? Why was the boy with so much life taken from the world? It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Simon wasn’t supposed to be the one that died.

 _It should have been me_ , Baz thinks, and he wants to scream it at the world. _I’m the monster; I’m the one who deserves to die, not Simon._

Baz feels someone attempting to wrap their arms around him, and he struggles to push whoever it is away. He can’t deal with anyone right now. He just needs to be alone.

The person doesn’t give up, though. They wrap their arms around him tighter.

Baz opens his eyes and prepares to yell at whoever it is to leave him alone. But it’s Penny.

They must have called her, too. But she made it too late.

“He’s gone,” Baz whispers, his body going limp as he stops trying to fight her off.

“I know,” she says through her own tears. “I know.”

“It isn’t fair. He wasn’t supposed to die.”

“I know,” she says again. “But you have to get up. Simon would want you to carry on, Baz.”


End file.
